Ranger's Christmas Eve Homecoming
by mybrowneyes
Summary: Or "The Night of the Famous 'Burg' Christmas Eve Snowball Fight'. Ranger makes it back on Christmas Eve and it's a night that no one soon forgets. Babe all the way. Joe does get HEA eventually.


_All that are JE's are hers. I'm borrowing just for fun. I used 'Home' the orginal version in another story and could not resist the Christmas one. It speaks Ranger and Stephanie to me. Merry Christmas._

**_Ranger's Christmas Eve Homecoming_**

**_(Or 'The Night of the Famous Christmas Eve 'Burg' Snowball Fight')_**

_**HOME (Christmas Version)**_

Another Christmas day  
will come and go away  
but i got so far to go  
but i wanna go home  
i need to go home

maybe surrounded by  
Strangers and Christmas lights  
I shouldn't feel so alone  
but i wanna go home  
God, i miss you, you know

I can close my eyes and see the angel on the tree  
a blanket of snow outside  
and all my friends and family  
and though i know that you're no farther than a call away  
i need to see your face  
a call could never be the same

Another Christmas day  
Will come and go away  
And i won't leave you alone  
And i wanna go home  
I've got to go home

Let me go home  
I'm just to far from where you are  
And i wanna go home

Now the reasons i'm so far away ain't good enough  
What ever they need me for  
I know that i need you more  
So i'll do the things i got to do to get back to you  
I need you to believe  
I'll make it back by Christmas eve

Another Christmas day will come and go away  
And i wont leave you alone  
No i'm gonna go home  
I'm gonna be home  
Though i'm surrounded by  
This cold December night  
I feel so alone  
I'm gonna go home  
Babe, i miss you you now

Let me go home  
I've had my run baby i'm done  
I'm coming back home  
Let me go home  
It'll all be alright  
When i'm holding you tight  
Cause this Christmas i'm home

"Home' Christmas version by Blake Shelton and Michael Buble'

Ranger watched out the airplane window at the fluffy white snowflakes going by as the private plane descended into Trenton. He was making it back like he promised Stephanie by Christmas. He touched the ring inside his coat pocket. Hopefully his Christmas home would be in Stephanie's arms and next year he saw a house with a tree decorated to the ceiling.

_**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX CHRISTMAS EVE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**_

"I'm coming," the older Plum man called out. Assisting with their Christmas Eve dinner took Stephanie's mind off a certain missing Cuban Bad-Ass for a little while, but her father watched her. He told her before he left he would be back before Christmas. It was the night before and a father knows when his daughter is worried. The happy 'face' Stephanie wore didn't compliment her tension-filled voice. It cracked a few times when Frank said not to worry.

Headlights in the snowflakes caught his attention coming from the living room glancing out the window on the front door. They weren't quite the 'American-made' shape of a Buick, they seemed German. "Let me check on the outdoor lights," Frank informed his family in the dining room waiting on him. Actually, a moment of quiet would be nice. Stephanie was more quiet than normal, but Valerie, Albert, their daughters, and his loon of a mother-in-law picked up the slack in that department. The duct tape was within reach if he heard one more "Cuddle Umpkins".

The expensive Porsche SUV parked and coming up the sidewalk like the knight right on time to save the day was Ranger. He always had perfect timing where Stephanie was concerned and as her father was forever grateful. Frank was craving maleness in the house and this Cuban man tipped the scale way up.

Frank watched Ranger reach a hand inside his jacket producing a sparkle reflecting the Christmas lights outlining the Plum porch and railing. "If you're going to ask me to marry you, Ranger, I'm going to tell you 'Yes' and I'm marrying you for your money. That's the truth," Mr. Plum chuckled witnessing the stunned expression flash on the Cuban features.

Ranger nodded laughing himself. "I hate to disappoint you, Frank, but you're not my type."

"Damn," Frank muttered. "Well, come on any way. Dinner is waiting and so is my Pumpkin."

"Are the lights out, Frank?" his wife asked placing the large Christmas lasagna pan by his plate.

"They're on. I was just checking." He moved from the doorway making the way to his place at the table revealing Ranger standing there.

"Ranger!" Stephanie leaped from her chair and right into his arms.

"Babe."

"You." "Made." "It" "Home!" She said between kissing his lips.

He never answered claiming the lips he missed for over four long weeks since just after Thanksgiving. "I promised," he finally spoke breaking apart resting his forehead against hers.

Everyone seated at the table momentarily neglected the food mesmerized by the usually stoic man always in black kissing and hugging the younger Plum daughter in front of the family.

Frank Plum cleared his throat placing an extra chair beside his younger daughter's place, "Everybody is here. Let's eat."

"Hot damn," Grandma Mazur called out wiggling her eyebrows across the table, "this meal just got a whole lot better."

"Mother, behave," Ellen told her taking a gulp of wine.

"I'm saying grace tonight," Grandma adds as everyone bows their heads, "God grant me the wine to make bearable what I can not change. The beer to make it funny and the wisdom to never get my knickers in a knot because it solves nothing and I walk funny. Amen"

"What kind of blessing is that, You Loon?" Frank growls.

"I read it on a T-shirt in the Irish store."

"We're not Irish, You Old Bat!"

"We can expand our cultural horizons. Now pass the lasagna, Sonny."

Albert spoke up asking Ranger, "Did you have a good t-t-rip, R-r-anger? My Pookie said you were away."

"You're my Cuddle Umpkins," Valerie whispered to her tubby husband tickling his nose.

"If you two would stop that, the female population of the 'Burg' would quit growing," Frank grumbled between his pasta.

Ranger looked up from his plate, glanced at Stephanie responding to the question, "Jungles are hot at this time of the year and I earned my paycheck."

"I bet you buy a new hot car," Grandma predicted.

"A few," the bounty hunter smirked at Stephanie. She rolled her eyes at him.

Once the Italian Christmas Eve dinner was over and the dishes were cleared, everyone went into the Plum's living room for presents and Christmas cookies. The Kloughs would be leaving soon to get the girls in bed ready for Santa's visit. Stephanie sat on the ottoman leaving room for Ranger beside her. He didn't sit but knelt down in front of her.

"Babe, I've waited a long time for this moment. I'm free. My government contract is up. Will you share my someday with me? Will you marry me?" Ranger asked quietly. He held in the palm of his shaking hand a platinum marquise diamond ring with an intertwined band of small sparking stones.

Surprised. Shocked. Stephanie's blue eyes stared for a moment as the question she was asked qualified in her brain. Her eyes lowered focusing on the brilliant, expensive ring. "Yes!"

She lunged at Ranger. Only his strength kept them from going back. Their kissing and laughing between them was stopped hearing Grandma Mazur yell out, "Ain't that a PIP!"

Her cell phone beside her began ringing non-stop. The first notes of 'What's New, Pussycat?' would start and then start again alerting a new message was coming.

Ranger was chuckling in Stephanie's ear. "Babe."

"Are there any diamonds left in the mine?" She was inspecting the brilliant ring with it's endless string of diamonds that found a home on your finger.

"I'll get you something else if you don't like it."

"Don't you dare, Stephanie," Ellen Plum told her younger daughter holding up her left hand. "Mother, what are you doing?" Her cell phone was still playing Tom Jone's hit non-stop.

"I can't even tell the 'Burg' Stephanie's engaged to the one with the good package! Let me find out the emergency," Grandma said punching in numbers on her cell phone. "Betty May, what is going on? Did a funeral home catch on fire?"

The room was quiet watching Edna Mazur. She wasn't saying a word. "AHHHHH, he got what he deserved! Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. We better leave early to get a good seat at mass. Oh, Ranger and Stephanie are getting hitched. He asked with a really big rock. Pass that on!" She snapped a picture of the engagement ring to sent through the 'Burg' grapevine. "See ya later!"

"Mother, what's going on?" Ellen asked.

"We got to get to St. Joseph's early. It may be a humdinger of a mass. I don't want to miss it. Morelli proposed to Angela Bianchetti, her father is a foreman at the Tampon factory and she is his last unmarried daughter. Down at the Cut n'Curl we had bets going she was going to be a spinster with cankles and a mustache. She turned him down announcing at the dinner table she had to go to the clinic because he gave her one of those STD's. Mr. Bianchetti is strictly old world. He believed his daughter was still 'pure' and how dare Morelli take advantage of his innocent daughter. He chased cheating Morelli out of the house with a carving knife! Angie Morelli and Grandma Bella never miss Christmas Eve mass and the Bianchetti's never miss it either. We got to get to St. Joe's for our seats! It's going to be one HELL of a mass with the Morellis and Bianchettis under the steeple!" Grandma was up hustling towards the steps for her purse and coat. "Besides, we got that fancy car to show up in."

"Babe?"

"I think you're driving, Ranger," Stephanie teased.

He parked his Black Cayenne in the corner spot, first row in the lot across the street from the church.

"How do you do that? I'd be parking down the street and around the corner," Stephanie grumbled.

"Christmas magic, Babe."

"Who cares? We'll be in church faster," Grandma said opening the back door.

"Wait, Edna," Ranger told her running around to the passenger side. He held open the door for his fiancee offering a gloved hand. Next, he clasped her grandmother's coat clad arm.

"Well, if you insist," Grandma Mazur grinned maneuvering her arm locking elbows with Ranger, "but remember no grabbing. This is church. Go ahead and have a feel come to think of it, my friends will have their cell phones."

"Mother, behave. Frank, this is a nice surprise," Ellen Plum said to her husband beside her taking his arm.

"If there is melee involving Morelli, I want to witness it," he chuckled. "Besides, we got Ranger to protect us."

"Thanks," the Cuban shot at him with an arched eyebrow.

"Here," Grandma stopped next to an empty pew in the middle of the church. She strutted into the church on Ranger's arm like it was the Miss Universe pageant senior version. "Perfect viewing. Angie's here already," she informed pointing to Joe's mother sitting to the right side. "Merry Christmas, Carmine!" Grandma waved heartily to a sullen family coming down the left aisle. The tall woman behind him was blowing her nose and wiping her eyes. The older, burly, Italian man gave a wave of an arm. "The Bianchetti's are here and we're right in the middle to see everything. Ain't that a Christmas pip!"

"Mother, do you know Mr. Bianchetti?" Mrs. Plum questioned her mother.

"You know everyone at Christmas."

Coming down the aisle was Grandma Bella shaking her head at her down-cast grandson, Joe. "Joey, it will be alright. Get some medicine."

Grandma Mazur was between the Plums and Stephanie with Ranger having the aisle. He mouthed "Babe."

"How's your Christmas, Bella?" Grandma calls out to her waving Stephanie's left hand in the air. "Some ring," she was showing the ring attached to her granddaughter's hand to those church goers around her, "from the bounty hunter."

Joe glanced at Stephanie and a smirking Ranger becoming more glum. His posture sunk. His eyes went to the teary woman about the same age as Stephanie focused on him. An arm from the left of the church made a gesture at Morelli.

Above the church chatter they made out, "Forget him, Angela! Any daughter is too good."

Father Hugo spoke of the wonder, happiness, and miracle born on Christmas Eve ignoring the building feud as the gestures continued in the Morelli's direction and Angela was continuing to cry. Grandma Bella made a few hand waves to the left. Eye daggers were flying from the left and right sides of the church. Edna Mazur kept adding to the fire waving Stephanie's hand when Bella looked at her. Grandma was wiggling her eyebrows pointing a bony finger between Stephanie and Ranger.

"Babe," Ranger was chuckling in her curls, "Dodge is going to explode."

"You think."

Finally, Father Hugo blessed everyone sending them on their ways to celebrate Christmas with their families and friends. Mr. Bianchetti went straight to the alter lighting all the candles he could. Angela was sobbing loudly out of tune with bells.

Shaking any hand she could wishing a "Merry Christmas', Edna Mazur was wasting time leaving and abruptly directed her family in mid-shake to get in line to exit a few heads behind the Bianchetti family.

'Merry Christmas, Father Hugo," Edna tapped knuckles with the priest and a hip bump. "Good service."

"Thank you, Edna. Merry Christmas to you and yours."

Stepping out of the church door, Joe Morelli was waiting on the sidewalk. "Angela, I still want to marry you," he said coming forward. "Maybe, you got that bug from someone else and not me."

Frank Plum muttered under his breath, "That was the wrong thing to say."

"How dare you, Joe Morelli, insinuate my daughter wasn't pure! You can't keep that think zipped up!" Carmine Bianchetti was charging at the cop with large worn hands heading for his throat.

Joe did a side step throwing a handful of snow to stop the on-coming angry Italian father.

It didn't and he plowed head first into Morelli's stomach sending him sliding on the new white snow. "She is a good Italian girl!"

"With a mustache!" Grandma Bella spit out hitting the man with a snowball on his bald head. "She's as pure as my bunion! I'll put an eye on you! Don't you hurt my grandson!"

Thin Italian Mrs. Bianchetti had been quiet through the service and after. "You will not to my husband!" she yelled throwing a snowball hitting Grandma Bella in her Italian eye. She was on a championship softball team in high school.

Grandma Bella slipped backwards landing in a snow pile at the feet of the Wise men by St. Joseph's manager with her shoes in the air resembling the wicked witch when the house fell on her in OZ.

"That's my mother-in-law," Angie Morelli threw a snowball at Teresa Bianchetti missing her and hitting a church elder.

"THAT'S MY FAMILY!" Joe shouted getting up from the snow. "Cupcake, if you would have married me none of this would be going on!"

"ME!" Stephanie yelled back running down the steps past Ranger in rhino mode.

"My daughter dumped your sorry ass!" Frank Plum bellowed in Joe's face beating his daughter to him. "She's marrying the better man, Morelli!" Stephanie's father punched him in the jaw sending the cop down in the snow once more.

Joe struggled and slipped in the fresh snow attempting to go after Mr. Plum but found himself face to face with Ranger. Fury blinding him, Joe swung at him.

The security expert blocked the punch elbowing Morelli's nose and down in the snow he went again.

"Your husband hit my Joey!" Angie Morelli screamed at Ellen Plum.

Stephanie's mother whipped a snowball so hard hitting Joe's mother and knocking her off balance, she slipped landing face down next to Grandma Bella still stuck in the snow pile. "So, he deserved that! Frank, how is your hand?"

"This is great!" Grandma was capturing everything on her cell phone from the church steps.

"Remember Christmas Joy!" Father Hugo was waving his arms speaking above the rowdy parishioners throwing snowballs all around them. No one left watching the scene and joining in the out-of-control snowball fight in the street in front of St. Josph's. "Peace be with you!" he shouted as police cars and black SUV's were pulling up. Snowballs were going in all directions. Angela Bianchetti was crying as her father got hit with one thrown by Joe.

"What's going on here?" Eddie Gazzara questions stepping out of his squad car ducking and watching snowballs flying outside of the 'Burg' church.

It took a while to sort everything out and get the Morelli women out of the snow and warmed up. The only one who could verify that Ranger hit Joe was Joe. Not Grandma's nor any other cell phone captured that. They did have to keep the Morelli and Bianchetti families separated because snowballs began flying again. It was referred for years as the 'Famous 'Burg' Christmas Eve Snowball Fight'. A picture of Joe Morelli throwing a snowball in the front of the church made the front page of the 'Trenton Gazette' on Christmas morning and he was suspended without pay.

Ranger was chuckling against Stephanie's lips by the passenger door leaving the service. "What a home coming, Babe."

"Only the best for you," Stephanie giggled throwing a handful of snow up in the air coming down on them.

_**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX MERRY CHRISTMAS XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXX**_

P.S.

It was laughed at every Christmas Eve around the Manoso dining table how Ranger came home to propose to Stephanie on the night of the famous 'Burg' snowball fight.

Joe did finally marry after a lot of antibiotics, she dumped his before their first anniversary. It took two more tries, but finally he settled down with a woman who ran a juice bar in Philadelphia. They had a little girl.

Stephanie and Ranger were married shortly after the big snowball fight flying to Vegas. They became the proud parents of a daughter and twin boys. frank Plum was never so happy.

Angela Bianchetti eventually married after her father paid for laser treatments to remove that lip hair.

_**XXXXXXXXXX Merry Christmas XXXXXXXX**_


End file.
